As easy as it seems to know when a guy likes you, because they call you or text you a lot or because they tell you how beautiful you are, because they invite you and pay for the dinner or because they introduce you to your friends… neither of these things really works when you are dating a Dutchman.
- He texts you… within a week
- He finds time to meet you
- He introduces you to his family or friends
- He comes visits you and doesn’t ask you to come to visit him
- He meets you for drinks instead of coffee
- He argues with you… a lot
- They ask you to be serious… at least after 1 year of dating
Some of these signs may seem strange to you unless you know what I am talking about and you have already dated a Dutch guy. Dating a Dutch is a whole new world for those of us who have grown up with romantic American movies or the so-called hot blood Latins, Italians or Spanish. Of course, there are many exceptions to the rule, but those are the ones that confirm it.
When a Dutch Guy Likes You: 7 Signs
I can say that I didn’t use to date before I moved to the Netherlands, so my whole experience was based on cliches, American films and what I knew of my friends and family in Latin American and Spain. You either like it or you hate it, but don’t try to change them, that is a bad start. If you want to know more about how they behave when they are into you, or what signs you will NEVER see when dating a Dutchman, this is the right place.
It couldn’t have surprised me more and be more different than what my expectations were. Basically, as I was saying, you either love it or hate it because it is a very surprising and different experience. Forget what you know about dating and be open-minded, this is what you have to know:
1. He texts you… within a week
The first step of any relationship nowadays is texting on the phone. Getting to know the other person on the phone, texting them or after your first day keeping in touch with the other person is key. What do you have to expect after a first date?
If you had a good time, a lot of laughter, maybe a kiss and a great conversation, I would expect him to text me, if not that same night, the morning afterward. Well, my friends and I have experienced the same thing, neither when you have spent the night with the guy nor if you have had the best time of your life, that determines the time he will text you.
They tend to be a little self-centered and focused on their own business, something for good or for bad useful for their careers and busy lives. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you, but don’t expect his contact to you to be immediate, they will probably go to work, have dinner with friends and go late to be and maybe two days later when he has finally free time and he is alone at home, he will think about you.
Here is the positive side: it is good for you to text if you want to, they are very “feminist” when it comes to this as when it comes to literally everything. Besides, if he texts you a lot or finds time for you, you actually know he reaaaally likes you. After all, prioritising is key.
2. He Finds Time For You
This is utterly connected to the first sign. If they have the busiest lives, of course, if you see he finds time to meet you, cancels his plans when you make him a proposal or even proposes a weird coffee break in the middle of the day or a random call, it means he really likes you or wants to get to know you better.
3. He Introduces You to his Family or Friends
He introduces you to his family or friends. This almost never happens and it may take a while for it to happen, but if or when it does, you will know for sure he is serious about you: even if it is a coincidence, picking him up or meeting when he is with his friends and being introduced, going to a family party or a birthday, that is already a great sign, no doubt.
I have experienced something very strange for me and my culture but very common for Dutch people in general: they like to compartmentalise their relationships and their life in general.
What does this mean? When at work, they work and socialize with their colleagues. When they are with their family, they enjoy their time. When they are with their friends there are no colleagues, no family, no girlfriend. When they are with you, it is only you. This is nice but you know you are a part of their lives when this division falls.
4. He Comes to Visit You and doesn’t ask you to come to visit him
He comes to visit you and he doesn’t “make you” come visit him. I have experienced it myself that I was always the one going to his job, going to his place, going to his city, going to where he was. This has happened with friends and no only on dates. Here is the thing, he also has to come.
If he doesn’t come to see you, he is not worth it. If he comes to visit you, he is into you. At least, there is a high chance
5. He meets you for drinks instead of coffee
I think this can genuinely be a universal one: if he only has time for coffee and doesn’t propose meeting you for dinner, for drinks or even at his place at night, he is not that into you or he is unsure.
This can be that he is seeing more people, already on a relationship (yes, they believe in open-relationships more than we Argentinians do) or just he is not looking for a relationship. However, if he tries to meet you later on the day, he likes you.
6. He Argues With You…a lot
Unlike you may think if you go on a date with a guy who is constantly arguing with you and laughing at your points and trying to make you change your opinion: he really likes you.
Finding an intellectual partner, a smart girl and a valid conversation partner. This is very important for Dutchmen because you are equal, you have to be more than just a pretty face for them to be interested in more than one night with you. I agree.
7. They ask you to be serious… at least after 1 year of dating
Here is what I have experienced: either you really want to make it official and you give them an ultimatum, or you are gonna be waiting for a while until it is basically undeniable that you are a couple.
It is definitely not easy to tell and something you will have to find out of intuition, but most Dutchmen haven’t been on a relationship or have only had one before. They take this step very serious, almost as much as getting married.
It is very unlike Argentinan guys or Italian guys: if you ask them once a month, they will have a different girlfriend each month, but they will call them an official girlfriend. They will introduce you to all his friends, his whole family, promise you all the gold in the world and more, of course. To each, his own.
To Sum Up
Basically, every person is a world and each of us is different, but some of these signs I have observed in many men, I have had many friends telling me about, most of them complaining about how cold these men feel because of this behavior. If you like them for how organized, how polite, how educated they are, their awful sense of humor and all their Dutchness, you will also have to get used to this part of their Dutchness.